The Mount Wolseley Hotel - Bar.
There is muzak coming from hidden speakers, or perhaps this is what the beginning of insanity sounds like: The Mountains of Mourne with sax and glockenspiel.
Several big screen TVs, all of them showing the same thing: Golf. Could be worse. Could be cricket. Amateur cricket.
In the 1950s, there was a belief that muzak could be used for brainwashing. Golf too. In the mid-sixties, signals were transmitted from the geostationary Echostar Satellite and picked up by anything that resembled an antennae, say, a putter or a four-iron. The wielders of these implements were instructed to shut down half their brains and find jobs in the banking industry.
The Town I loved so Well on bassoon and kazoo, filling up the background. Phil Coulter must be turning in his grave. Wait, you say, Phil Coulter isn't dead.
A man can dream, can't he?